you don't know me, you don't know my name

2007-11-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

i seriously need help. i so want to learn spanish. so want to go thailand during christmas. so want to complete my bike practicals from like since when.
all these things i desperately want to do. but i'm BROKE!
ahh i hope i strike lottery or something. but i don't buy lottery. shit!
hopefully i'll pick up some 4d or toto ticket and it strikes first prize the following day. then i can fulfil those above.
work so far has been rather enjoyable.
alrights that's it. bye.

On that sunny day
Didn’t know I’d meet
Such a beautiful girl walkin’ down the street
Seen those bright brown eyes
With tears comin’ down (so he said to himself)
She deserves a crown
But where is it now

2007-11-19T06:44:00.000-08:00

went with jo to the thai pub.. it was great man. reminded me of the days in thailand.
so wanna go back to thailand soon. peeps that want to go thailadn.. tell me. we can all go together.
so far work has been alright. bonded more with my collegues. that really nice aunty at work. she bought me dinner to celebrate my birthday. how nice eh. hahaha.
alrights. that's about it.

I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok

2007-11-09T06:25:00.000-08:00

there's this thai aunty at my work place. she's really cool man. she 40 plus and she's studying biomedical science. and she's not those old aunty sort. she's like those hip mom. sometimes i talk to her in thai. so fun. today she got promoted and she treated me macdonalds. cute eh.
she's like my mum in the lab. haha

luckily i have all these nice pple in my life.. my frens as well.

why can't you just be normal? do you love being unique?! sucks.

2007-11-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

i've only heard of selective hearing.. and not selective reading... it's really amazing how you can completely ignore those sentences.

it's not that difficult to ans right? i think. i really wonder what's wrong man..
what's wrong with that brain of yours.
i'm trying to think if i'm unreasonable to be angry at you..
but fuck la ah. it's really bad to bottle up ur feelings eh... i think u're one fucked up ass. i know you can't be bothered.. so don't even try to show you care.
the way you communicate. how i wish i could shove a pineapple up ur ass.

i really think you dun give a shit.. so don't bother shitting at all. cause the way you act. really sucks man. i hope you wake up in the morning and realise the hell you've put me through.

2007-11-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

holy shit.. my blog spot is still in thai. i don't know why.

anyway second day at baxter. pple here are really nice just like the people in thailand. wow. in the future if i have collegues like them. i'll be damn happy man.
took a 2hr straight bus home from woodlands.

i love this kinda bus rides. it gives me time to think about those 'if only' questions. listen to my mp3.. and make a wishlist that may jolly well never come true.
i found out that baxter has many benefits. cool man. $$$
i miss thailand lots lots lots man. i miss the shopping, i miss the life, i miss everything about it.

hopefully you'll come to a decision soon. you seem so stressed up about it. good luck.

2007-10-28T23:35:00.000-07:00

my dead blog..

going back real soon.. i'm so gonna miss this place so much. surprisingly i'm not home sick..
i bought gifts for everyone. or i think i did. for those that i forgot i'm really sorry man. hahaha...

looking forward to working in baxter singapore.
thailand helped me realise many things.
things i'll never forget.

When you’re on a holiday
You can’t find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And I wanna feel it too

2007-10-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

back.. a few weeks more then i'm back. to be honest i'm dreading it.
i really miss my frens and family. but other than that there's really nothing much to look forward to..
back to the stressful life... having to worry everyday what would happen tomorrow.
life here is really carefree..
but i guess that's life. all good things hae to come to an end. at least there's still frens.

work here is rather routine. weekends are pretty fun. cos of the touring and stuff. frens reading this. we should all go thailand together.. thailand is really safe and easy to get ard and things here are dirt cheap. haha.

alriights that's about it. sad case.

2007-10-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

weekends
touring bangkok again.. ken's parents came over.. went to see the buddhas and suff..
and subway, mac, swensons are really cheap here.. subway meal 3 bucks plus. really cheap..
work is really tiring man.. washing the shrimp tanks is really a killer. goodness. it's like doing gym everyday.
and i got a thai nick name.. i'm called reag. i modify it a little. in thai everyone have a nickname. they can call themselves drawer.. prawns.. arm... small boy that look like chinese.
looking forward to the weekends.. shopping!!!!
time flies. it's almost 4 weeks already. 1 more month i'm going back.
and i hardly come online and you can't talk properly when i talk to you. or rather type propery
i really miss the pple in singapore. and to me thailand is like my second home now..
i'm kinda like having a mental block now.. and i'm a little disoriented now.
and i have a dirty little secret. literally.
alright that's a bout it. ciaoz. oh oh and i want to learn spanish when i get home.
haha bye.

2007-09-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

i'm using the office's com to blog.. my room's internet is really sucky...
saturday we went to central bangkok. went to siam paragon.
it's just like singapore's paragon.. full of boutiques. clothes that are freaking expensive. and throughout the day my tummy had this burning sensation.
and later in the night, it got worse. i had to go to the hospital cause the pain was unbearable.
how lucky eh..
but then after a jab it was fine. and sunday went back to chatuchak.. bought many clothes. hahah cannot help it ah super cheap and nice...
work is so boring.. feeding my shrimp frens everyday.. watch them get bigger and bigger. ahaha. learning more thai phrases.
yesterday i went to make powdered feed into pellet. that place was freaking hot. and we had to wear our lab coats and our mask. and there is no air con. and that place was like a mosquito nest. my hands are like filled with countless mosquito bites. and my tummy is still acting up once in a while.
still not getting any good sleep.
alrights. that's about it. got to go feed my prawn frens again.

2007-09-19T01:26:00.000-07:00

down with flu... so shit.
looking forward to saturday... gonna travel ard bangkok again. shop till i drop. ahaha.
probably going back to chatuchak. the things there are freakin cheap.

so far work is pretty boring. i had to clean the shrimp tanks yesterday.
and the internet connection is still cranky.
and i still can't sleep well. i dun noe why. i think it's the bed.anyway gtg. ciao..

2007-09-16T20:13:00.000-07:00

i don't wanna hurt you
i dun wanna make you sway
like i knew i've done before
i will not do it anymore
i've always been a dreamer
i had my among the clouds
now that i am coming down
won't you be my solid ground

this song is stuck in my head from singapore to thailand. finally i get to blog. but i'll have to do a quick one. internet was actually okay then it was down. dun noe why. but so far thailand is fun. but work is tedious man. feeding my prawn friends and having to wokr on a saturday.. but weekends touring bangkok was fun.
people here are nice. and all the girls here sound really sweet. cause when they speak in thai it's like so sweet or however you call it. something different... and the food here suxs. i'm not really use to the food yet.
other than that clothes here are nice and cheap.
and ther dorms are like downtown east chalet. even better. and they have housekeeping everyday to clear ur bins and change ur towels. coool.
time past really slowly here. dun get to sleep well everynight.
not really use to the bed.
but other than that everthing is fine.

missing everyone and everyone and everyone. hahaha tc.

2007-09-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

settlers on friday with DR LIM and many some peeps. hahaha.
DR LIM.. although he is such a childish 30 plus yr old guy. but ignoring all that, he's a pretty successful guy i would say.
a few of us sat in his BMW convertible or however you spell that word. haha. feeling the wind in my hair. it really hit me and drives me to become like him. not his looks but his career. hahaha.
i hope he don't forget me. i remember his exact words ' jian wei.. dun worry i will groom you. and in 5 yrs time you'll be like me'.

we'll see how ah. hopefully things will turn out all good.
time really flies. had my last paper in poly. hopefully. haha.
few more months left in poly. and i'm a little sad that we'll all go our seperate ways soon.
and in this spirit i'm gonna write a short note for everyone.

Dr Lim forever so crazy. so funny. so nice. thank you.
Grandma Huang. teached me mole bio. can never love that subject more. another motivational teacher.
U ti lin. get a new job!
other teachers are all lovely pple.

peeps..
pei li. retarded but lovely. black but nice. hahaha
hwee ying. as she always say she's quiet and sweet. probably. but nice altogether.
bessie. party girl. ah lian. once in a while you need a black sheep to know that the rest are white. hahaha kiddin la.
jasmine. witty and lovely the way she is.
daphne. witty and logical. probably due to old age and her thinking M***. ahhaha
yun shan aka pissy. nice person altogether. teached me piano and some stuff about life.
sandy tf03 never fail to put a smile on ur face with her warmest greeting in the morning.
sandy ab39 a girl who sees the innner beauty and not the superficial being.
hien yong. life would be boring without him. and some of he's stupid moves and acts.
shane. guy with nice heart. never hesistant to lend a helping hand.
tong kiat. guy that always bring the tissue. what would we do without him. nice guy too.
dickson. always there to help out as well. never see him lose he's cool before.
cheng hong. patient guy. forgiving
elvin. that himbo. who thinks that he's mum cooks sweet and sour piranha.
fithri ali and IS the budak taiks. babes watching buddies. lovely!
elaine pei shan dashni clarice jia xin. girls that always withstand my crap and laugh along with my crappy jokes.
susannna. that lovely lian. always bear with my nonsense.

man i'm gonna cry soon. all these nice pple. THANK YOU pple. life would be so different without you pple. i'm sure i'm quite an irritant for some. for my crappy jokes and endless teasing but i really love you pple. and when i say ur nice i really mean it. not just to patronise any body. THANK YOU!!!

2007-08-29T03:15:00.000-07:00

Pickin up the pieces

Of the wreck you went and lef

tAnd I'm dealing with dilemmas

In my not-so-stressful life

And I'm drinking stronger spirits

I made my home here on the floor

And I'm losing all ambition

I'm a ghost

2007-08-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

Time to say goodbye. -- Con te partirò.

Paesi che non ho mai

veduto e vissuto con te,

adesso sì li vivrò

.Con te partirò

su navi per mari

che, io lo so,

no, no, non esistono più,

it's time to say goodbye. -- con te io li vivrò

for those interested. in english it's

Time to say goodbye. -- I'll go with you

to countries I never

saw and shared with you,

now, yes, I shall experience them.

I'll go with you

on ships across seas

which, I know

,no, no, exist no longer;

it's time to say goodbye. -- with you I shall experience them.

this song is in italian. woohoo. super nice. hahaha.

exams exams exams. 2 more weeks.

time flies, LAST finished. quite okay. hope i'll do well.

2 more papers.

time to say goodbyeeeee........

2007-08-22T01:28:00.001-07:00

And in this crazy life,

and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you,

You make me sing.
You're every line,

you're every word,

you're everything.

2007-08-17T20:47:00.001-07:00

i'm so tired to blog these few days. TE test is finally finished! woohoo. hope i'll do well.
what's there to blog about?
i shall talk about pple. i saw pissy the other day. hy and pl.
and i had my lab test. fithri's finger got bitten by the rat. heard it bled quite a bit. hahah that joker.
i did mice. my mice was nice. ip and sc injection.
erm. what else. hahah.
me and ben you exchange tips on magic and card tricks. haha he should teach me how to study.
i showed ismail one of my tricks he was amazed. haha
went gym with elvin and gang yesterday. suppose to soccer today and damn i have to work.
i have no plans after work. wanted to ask kf out. but i doubt she's free. that busy woman. hahaha
3 weeks more to thailand. might be meeting jerome in thailand. btw he's the french lecturer. he says he wants to buy a hse there. and retire there. asked him why he doesn't want to go back to france, he says it's to expensive and boring. hahaha!
i don't mind staying in france. alright that's about it.

2007-08-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

woohoo. jac's place again.
i want to shove my foot up pple's ass. think it'll be fun.
beware!

2007-08-07T03:29:00.000-07:00

i had a really bad nightmare last night. REAL BAD. it was so real i only realise it was fake when i woke up from it. and when i woke up i was sweating like crazy. and i woke up from it becos i was so scared. i was like no!!! then i woke up. hahaha.

i dreamt that something or rather someone who is very important to me did something. which made me realise something very important.
i thought it was history.
but it's not
the dream yesterday made me realise
how much .......
meant
how important

it was scary man the nightmare.
scary.

2007-08-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

i'm addicted to the song when u're gone by avril lavigne. kinda emo song.

bus rides seem to be so peaceful. i can sit and think about stuff.
think about stuff i never thought about
never knew i would feel like this
they say it's a phase in life everyone go thru
it's my turn.

chatty. joyful.
forgotten.
quiet heart calm mind
these are the things i yearn for.

i didn't know thinking could be this unexplainable
have you gone thru this phase yet?

2007-08-04T20:19:00.001-07:00

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

All the words I need to hear to always get me through

the dayAnd make it OK

I miss you

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do

Reminds me of you

And the clothes you left

they lie on my floor

And they smell just like youI love the things that you do

this avril lavigne song is nice. a little emo. haha emo stuff is so nice. hahaha.

went to gym with all the budak taiks. feel so good man. although i'm aching. haha aching is like love. painful yet i'm lovin it.

2007-08-02T19:20:00.000-07:00

Im not missing you

Im not going through the motions

Waiting and hoping you call me

Im not missing you

You might have had me open

But I must be going

becauseI got life to do

I know Im usually hanging on

I used to hate to see you gone

But this time its different

I dont even feel the distance

Im not missing

Im not missing you

2007-07-28T02:50:00.000-07:00

am i weird?

i feel sad when i see somebody eating alone. weird?

i dun like to share my food with others. not becos i'm selfish but it a little disgusting that i have to share saliva with others. unless it's my gf. ahaha. weird?

2007-07-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

words don't decribe how i feel
all that feelings i can't reveal

if only i had one great power
just like cool dude tobey maguire
spiderman batman harry potter
i just wish my life was better

stop keeping mum
shout it out loud
i won't always be around

when it's gone
pls dun regret
i'll be surprised
if u're sad

2007-07-24T03:59:00.000-07:00

i saw this really cute girl in the lift today. i mean little girl. kid those kinda.
her mum was carrying her. she told her mum.. mummy i have STARR-FISH..
so the mummy was like ok.. where is your star fish?
the girl said. my star fish is in the sky... ahaha. cute huh.
i don't know if you get it but. yah it's funny.
so yeah.

2007-07-23T06:40:00.000-07:00

went to jac's hse on friday. haha i slept the earliest. eh i need more sleep right. hahaha.
hanging out. had some drinks. SOME.
the next day went to watch some matches, gazelles and nus.
then it was singapore schools and road warriors. i kept thinking thier road runners. ahaha.
singapore schools. not bad.

talking is so tough. it's much better off not talking

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

2007-07-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

i feel so light today. so many burdens have been lifted off my shoulders.
osip is more or less confirmed.
going to thailand.. sobs no australia anymore.
but thailand's not too bad. at least there's stuff to buy. hahaha

yun shan is so proud of me cause i managed to accomplish something. ahaha.
i read some girl's blog and i'm quite disgusted. i shan't gossip.
bpt project submission. rtect quiz. TE quiz.
school's coming to an end soon.
time pass so fast man.

ohoh and that day i was on the bus. i wrote a poem about life. enjoy.

Life is such a funny thing
It makes you laugh
It makes you scream

Some things in life are make believe
They aren't always what they seem
Many say beauty is skin deep
But many fail to look within

Life is always one big joker
makes you take risks just like poker
If you win, well, then congrats
But if you lose, that's pretty sad

Sometimes there's no second try
it's either a do, or a die
But life is always bittersweet
makes you smile and makes you weep

But fret not people
Life is not all doom and gloom
No matter what life throws at you
There will always be.......................
....................................koko krunch.

ahahah no la .................... he or she will stand by you.

2007-07-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

And its gone... gone... going...
Gone... everything gone... give a damn...
GONE BE THE BIRDS WHEN THEY DON'T WANNA SING..
Gone people... up awkward with their things... gone.

That gear that you rock gonna be gon
eThe house up on the hill gonna be gone
The gold -- on your grill gonna be gone
The ice on your wrist gonna be gone
That nice little Mr gonna be gone
That whip that you roll gonna be gone

To you that's righteous
You're fiction like books
You need to go out to life and look

2007-07-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

After much consideration, i've decided on something. This decision might shock hundreds probably a thousand. hahaha yeah right! i'm not gonna.................. haha. it's time. watch me. LOL.

2007-07-14T06:46:00.001-07:00

i'm cool today and it's because of nothing.

no point also right. hahaha.

2007-07-12T04:49:00.000-07:00

spent my evening at the void deck again. thinking of my life and ways not to see my mum. ever since i quarrelled with my mum, nothing has been going right. literally nothing.

MONDAY.
had a real bad quarrel with my mum. REAL BAD. it's the worst quarrel ever.

TUESDAY
snapped at this teacher. He was like ' EH! WHERE's YOUR CONSENT FORM?!' i dun noe what got into me i just shouted back eh cannot talk properly is it.. want form i give you now la. although he's attitude was bad mine was worse. i apologised in the end. after all i was disrespectful.
And at night something just went wrong.

THURSDAY
sat underneath the void deck. anger is really taking it's toll on me. i snap just like that these few days. the one probably i will give in, it's her. although the rice really pissed me off. but in my heart i can't even bring myself to be angry with her for 24 hrs. if only she could understand what i'm going through.

i really need to cool down.

2007-07-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

i bought food for you at night knowing that you were hungry. you didn't tell me to do it. i know. the least you could do was a thank you. i don't blame you for not coming down after all it's so late. i left it there so that you could check it in the morning to show that i wasn't pranking you. all you said was no i didn't walk there. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? you think i bought food so i could just leave it there at the playground? man. i'm devastated enough and now this. life just keeps getting better.

2007-07-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

it's confirmed! i'm going to thailand. somehow i don't know if i should happy or sad. hahaha. some might know but i'm going with someone funny. i shan't be bad but he might not be as scary as what i think. well. why make my own life difficult. think so much no use also.
hopefully it would be fun and fruitful. wish me luck. ahaha.

2007-06-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really wonder why am i going gaga over girl. i shall be general. so not me man. but at the same time i just can't help it.
got hit by the flu bug. feel so shit now. term test results were horrendous. should really buck up man.
it's weird how humans are blinded by so many superficial things around them. it's time to look on the inside but that's like easier said than done. we should all be like shallow hal. how cool would that be man. i'm gonna go for my bike prac next week.
clear that just in case i go for osip. i'll miss so many pple man if i go osip. my hardcore grp of frens. and of course her. although in singapore i dun even get to see her shadow but some how i feel when i go off. she'll 'go off' too.forget that i even existed.
haha emo me again. wtf la ah. hahaha

2007-06-29T02:51:00.000-07:00

woohoo.. attachment. hope i go somewhere else other than singapore..
but that stupid teacher, hai..

if i get to go thailand or china, it'll be pretty cool man.

but so many things to worry about. sucks man.

2007-06-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

haha i am so bored. so let me tell you a story. haha

once upon a time, ahaha, there was this boy, he found a treasure chest. In order to open the chest, he has to input a 15 digit password. Determined to open the treasure chest, he tried different combination of numbers. he's been trying it for about 12 months now. and to his dismay, the treasure chest is still not opening up.

he is actually very miserable and fustrated right now because he noes that he might not open the treasure chest ever. But he really really likes that treasure chest. He ever felt like giving up but everytime he will fall back in and try to crack the code.

what should this guy do?

2007-06-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you & I'm wishing
that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you
Don't leave me crying.

2007-05-30T08:48:00.000-07:00

i've been losing sleep, just can't seem to sleep properly at night. losing my appetite. losing my concentration in class. i wonder what is wrong. wondering if school is too stessful or sumthing.
i feel sick. but there are no coughing no high temperature.
i hope i am able to withstand this period of time.

if you knew
how much she means to me
if you knew
how this women makes me happy
this is home

2007-05-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

even if it yields no results. i'm just glad to be around...

2007-05-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

i'll be patient. i really really.......... :)

2007-05-26T04:36:00.000-07:00

say goodbye.
to hell with everything.

2007-05-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

i wonder. i really wonder.
if only you know how i still feel. haha am i naive or what?

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

2007-05-18T19:24:00.003-07:00

Would you dance
if I asked you to dance?
Would you run
and never look back?
Would you cry
if you saw me cry?
And would you save my soul, tonight?

2007-05-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Shadows fill an empty heart

As love is fading,

From all the things that we are

But are not saying.

Can we see beyond the scars

And make it to the dawn?

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

What about now?

2007-05-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

it's been almost a week now. and it's tough man.

2007-05-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're less than 5'3"
And are still more amused by crappy shows
What the hell is SAD?
My friends say I should be myself
What's my name again?
What's my name again?

my version of what's my age again by Blink 182.

you gotta keep it strong.

2007-05-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

went to gym today. saddness fueled my workout. the more i thought about it, the more i pushed myself.
i hate myself.
i just can't walk away.

2007-05-08T02:31:00.000-07:00

if i told you i wasn't sad. i'll be lying. to be honest i felt totally devastated.
the saddness over powered me. i never ever felt this sad before.
if only you knew.
everything seems to revovle around you.
morning my dad flips to the papers and i see mr ronaldo and i thought of you.
even if i grow up one day, you'll be like a scar in my heart. but right now it's still bleeding.

grant my last request.
take good care of yourself
ur lameness
ur smile
my sweet memories.

2007-05-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

what else do i have to do? can you just tell me. tell me the truth even if it hurts. i can fucking take it man.
i'm really really miserable. I'm not trying to force you to make a decision. i just need you to tell me how you feel.
it is really mentally torturous. i hope you understand.
feel for me.

2007-05-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

it's starting to get interesting..
haha. we'll see how it goes.
jian wei time for you to wake up.
you've been sleeping too long.

2007-05-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

headed to gym in the afternoon. then it was Spidey 3 in the evening.
it's a pretty good show. it's definitely worth it.
how can anyone not want to watch this show.
if a cry baby watches this shwo with you,
she'll probably cry until ur shirt is wet.
and that's what happen to one guy in the cinema.
HAHAHA!

2007-04-29T01:26:00.000-07:00

first week of school is over.
all the fun has ended.

let's hope i'll work harder this semester
and score a higher g.p.a

i hope you liked the video
you didn't say much
and i'm completely confused by you

2007-04-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the first day of school. nothing much actually. i know very few pple in the new class. haha
today went for kf's lectures, they were all so boring. haha
but thier course not bad.. not bad.. hahaha
and i kinda played a little floorball. really really miss the times when i was in tp floorball. it was like so fun. guess i'm not as committed as the rest.

life is such a bore

2007-04-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

i can't do it.

tell me the truth.

2007-04-22T01:17:00.000-07:00

okay friday went to vivo city to get some clothes with kf. kf i forgot what i say la. haha. kf was tired but i didn't want to go home. and so i bought a river island bag and a pull and bear t-shirt.
then sat went to school to watch the tp and mjc match. lol mjc got thrashed. it's kinda funny to watch one person play. i dun noe why but it's just funny. then went for lunch with the fb gals. and then to jac's hse. slacked there. and i couldn't help but irritate the 3 of them. haha
then i tried foot reflexology for the very first time. and i was so stressed out by her. she keep telling me my this not good that not good. haha and she told me that my reproductive system has problems. ans she said i might have overworked them! hahahha wth.
tomorrow school starts and i would see my new classmates. may god be with me. haha.

2007-04-19T06:17:00.000-07:00

went swimming with my mum today and it reminded me of the times when i was in secondary school. i was in the life saving team then. now that i''m older i can't seem to swim as well as last time. hhaha
3 more days before school starts.
i wonder what is happening now.
i guess i'm too tired.

oh btw today is pl's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM PEI LI! haha.
celebrated it yesterday at swensens. dinner was ok. and after that we went to motorway and decided not to go clubbing. went home after that. and kf still haven't teach me how to upload pictures. haha..

2007-04-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

can someone teach me how to upload pics into blogspot? hahaha! i know i'm damn stupid.
love is like a game.

if you're good at it, you'll have fun playing it
but if you sux, then too bad for you
you'll just have to look at the pros and learn from them
and in this love game there is so many different kinda strategies
so many different situations
and once in a while there are more than 2 person playing
and that's when things really sux.
and in the game of love
not only do you need stregth physically and emotionally,
you need stamina
you need speed (haha to a certain extent)
you need $$$$
you need brains
you need a strong heart (if not get prepared for a heart attack)

haha but many pple still like to play it cause the process and the result could be really sweet and nice!

2007-04-13T01:57:00.000-07:00

there is no work this weeek. and i'm finally broke! haaha! i spend most of my time outside. it's kinda relaxing to be finally at home.
so many things happen this week. i'm so worried that she would one day be gone. if only......
and i need to get new clothes. it's so difficult to get clothes for myself. damn!
and school is starting in 2 weeks time.
time is running out. and all i wish is for saturday. hope she goes out wiht me and hope everything would go smoothly.
but i really dun noe wat is ahead and what i should do.
so many things are just in my mind.
this is more stressful than exams.

money don't matter at all if i've got you....

2007-04-09T01:26:00.000-07:00

aHHHHHHH!!!!! what is happening now???

yesterday was kf's birthday and we celebrated it at chomp chomp then after that it was at happy daze. played pool there and drank there.

pl got a little tipsy and she broke a glass. haha.

life suxs now. no money. and i dun noe if i'm losing it. shit!

i'm looking at you thru the glass, dun noe how much time has past. GOD it feels like forever.

2007-03-31T01:52:00.001-07:00

nothing much happen the past few days. nothing much to blog about too. i just want to say sorry to carmen for ps-ing her today. sorry!!!

2007-03-31T01:52:00.000-07:00

work work and work. i'm am so tired. life is so mundane now.
BORRRINNG!

2007-03-26T23:32:00.001-07:00

life pratically suxs now for me. hope it gets better soon.

2007-03-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

oh boy am i tired from work.. working with my god dad is fun man. work would be so boring without him. saw many new faces and old ones as well. and once again my hair was caught for it's length. damn.
the past few days i was kinda depressed but today i'm feeling much better. sleeping eating and music keeps me happpy.
sometimes i just feel that i'm such a failure. i'm really good at nothing. the best thing i guess i know how to do is pool. but i am not good at all. i'm just a average player. i'm like so old already and i feel i've accomplished nothing be it academically, relationship stuff. hai.
but they say you should count ur blessings. i think i always meet great pple in my life.
when i was in primary school i met this two really great uncle and auntie who brought me to church and always bring me out for lunch no matter how expensive it was. i am REALLY grateful to have them in my life.
and some of you might know. a stranger gave me 600 bucks with no strings attached so i could fulfil my dreams and i let him down.
and my parents. they always find ways to tick me off. but come to think of it. they are so old and they are working thier ass off so that i could live better. the should be given credit too.
and when i'm out at work i met my god-dad who always help me carry supr heavy stuff. knowing the fact that i'm super short. he dun want me to be even shorter.
all these pple in my life. i should say i'm very lucky.
well life is like thaat.

i tried to do it right this time around.

nobody said it was easy

2007-03-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

tired from work. and when i'm back i still have to deal with stuff. it's tough man. how i wish things were easy. this is another time in life where it is sucky!

2007-03-17T01:52:00.000-07:00

i wonder if anybody reads my blog.. haha. but nevertheless i will blog.

today before i went to work. i watched this french documentary. It's about life of short pple. actually the last thing i guy want to be is short. let me give you an example of how it feels, it's like having AIDS but you die from AIDS. but shortness is a kinda disease that you've got to live with it for the rest of your life and there is no medicine that can cure shortness. And for a guy it's extremly tough where everything revolves around height. to tell you honestly being short is worse than being fat or what. it's like ur a freak to a certain extent.

but what can you do, you'll just have to accept it and deal with it. and height is another thing when it comes to girls. which girl would want to go out with a guy who looks like her brother?
but then at the end of the show there's this two kids who are french and they are like 13plus and 14plus and they are ang moh so it's like worse. one said he didn't want pple to look down on him, he just wants pple to understand him. i guess that is what all short GUYS want. and one girl told the 14plus guy that she dun mind his height and that he just nice the way he is. it would be better if he's taller but he is just fine like that.

so i hope that one day short guys would be just the same as tall guys. hahaha. and short guys can be as man-ly as tall guys. haha.

2007-03-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

went to vivo city with hy and jas. one asshole didn't show up haha.. everytime when i window shop, i can't help but want to buy everything. damn! i feel like a girl. all the nice clothes and pants make me crazy. haha.
now i'm so broke after buying that guitar. it's kinda difficult learning how to play pop songs using guitar.
we had dinner at mache and all of us had a rosti and that was it. haha then went to white dog for dessert. i think that place would be a great place to bring your loved ones. the ambience is great, dessert wasn't too bad. not sure bout the foood though.
i have that depressing mood again. haiz. it would be lovely if i know what she's thinking. it's been quite a while now. she's always giving me mixed feelings. i just hope she could just tell me how she feel man.
well i guess that is life. how shitty!

just a little insight won't make this right.

2007-03-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

it's the holidays now but everyday is like so boring. i feel i have no life. work, sleep, wake up, eat. BORRINGG!

someone ask me out quick if not i'll go bonkers soon. it's like during school time you have plenty of friends then when it's holidays you are like eh? where are all my frens? they are all caught up with thier own stuff and i'm left alone to rot at home. haha.
she's not free during the hols... oh great! do i always have to be this unlucky. i feel so depressed these few days. haiz. i hope life gets better soon.

it would be lovely if...

2007-03-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

went back to work after such a long long time... haha the aunties are adorable man. haha. work was pretty okay andi got tipped 20 bucks!! haha even if it's a dollar i'm grateful! haha.

saw my super long never-see frens, they are still as cranky as ever. haha

yesterday when i was in the bus, i thought to myself, i really love riding a bike and i am so gonna get my bike license. after bringing her out,( hopefully ) haha i will definitly save up for my bike and the practicals and stuff.

and i went to gym yesterday and something really terrible happen today. my right arm can't seem to be able to extend straight. i never had this kinda problem before. it's like my muscle keep flexing and it's not relaxing and it's kinda uncomfortable and during work i have to carry stuff and all that. how nice ha?

anyways that's about it. work is so boring. but for the sake of money i will persevere!

2007-03-03T02:27:00.000-08:00

thursday i was wasted man. haha. went to pei shan's house and then after that to chomp chomp for dinner and then went drinking after that. That one pint of hoegarden was pretty scary man. we were all like wth so big. haha anyway that day i won about 7 bucks. haha.

then friday another gambling session at pl's house i turning more and more into an ah beng. i won a pathetic 2 bucks. cmon la let me win more la! haha. i believed everyone had fun. everyone like laughing their ass off. hahaha.

damn i thought march hols was this coming monday. then she told me it's next next week!!! shit man! by that time either my money would be finished or i would be too caught up with work. haiz i think it would be difficult to find a day that both of us would be free and i'm still not confident that she'll go out with me. suxs man! i hate this kinda feeling.

and i still dun noe where i should work. if i go back to the hotel i'll have to spray my hair black and the job there suxs big time. but i have no choice for the sake of money. haiz then if i go interview at my bro's place i might not be free on weekdays and that suxs too.
arghzz! sumbody help me.

2007-02-28T00:51:00.000-08:00

finally finished my exams!!! holidays now. now that i have nothing to do, i feel so bored at home.
Went to dye and cut my hair yesterday and damn i look like a ah beng now. damn! i really regretted dye-ing my hair. finally bought the watch, it's not the one i saw the other time but this one is not bad also. i'm so freakin broke now.
i really hope during the march hols i get to go out with her. thursday at pei shan's house and friday at pl's house. i'll try to gamble less cause i'm really unlucky. haha.

i don't know, how to say, how i feel.

2007-02-23T02:31:00.000-08:00

back.. went to pl's house yesterday for short gambling session.. i lost the most money in fact but seeing everyone so happy, it was worth it.
exams are starting next monday and i haven really started on my revision!!! i'm screwed man. i hope i really adsorb my stuff fast.
so many doubts in my mind.. come to think of it, it's kinda scary. i really hope things are fine and i'm just thinking too much.
alrights that's all for now.

come with me, stay tonight.

2007-02-20T22:57:00.000-08:00

kinda tired. will blog another day.

2007-02-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

just came back from my reunion dinner. as some of you all might know i dun like to share food. Not because i'm selfish or what but i just dun like the thought that i'm indirectly french kissing someone. So i went to my uncle's house and everybody was like okay let's dig in. wah then i was like okay now what am i suppose to eat. So i tried to take pieces of food that were far away from the 'contaminated' area hahha. So throughout the night my stomach was filled with alcohol rather than food. I'm a little hungry now.
heading off to malaysia tomorrow at 7am in the morning!!! damn. there goes my sleep. and on top of that my bro is not going with us so i have to spend the 3hrs journey talking to myself. cause i dun really talk wiht my parents. yeah. and there is nothing to do in malacca. i've only thought of two things that i can do 1) play with tons of fire crackers 2) ride motor bike. damn!
these few days i've not been talking to her and it's really getting into me now. i just hope i'm thinking too much manz. alrights btw happy chinese new year guys. Gong xi gong xi gong xi.

ps: this girl wants me to mention her in my blog (jomaine). ok job done. she's mentioned.

2007-02-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

went out with sandy, daphne and jia xin yesterday to far east for shopping spree. haha i am so broke now. bought a t-shirt, 2 polo tees and one pair of shoes. somehow this new year is kinda a happy and a sad one.
after the new year there's exams and stuff.. and the thing to look forward to are the ang baos. ahaha. but the older you get, the less money you recieve so it's kinda sucky too.
going to malacca tomorrow and my mum is bringing so much stuff as if we're going to fight some war like that.
i dun noe why but i'm feeling kinda stress... i dun if it's school or what but i just hope this feeling will go soon.

i dun know the right words to say, probably it's just too little too late.

2007-02-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

today is a friday, yesterday night i talked with miss jolyn about the current situation and she's like the love doctor. but anyways she's good man. hahaha.
alright i shall not mention anything about HER today. if not my every post is like about her.
damn today no one is free. no pl, no hy no nobody. haha good thing sandy message me last night to ask me out for shopping. why not man, i need to get some stuff too. btw if i'm not wrong sumbody still owe me 10 bucks. right pl? haha.
there's abchm test later, sucks big time man. i don't know a shit and this is the first time i dun noe a shit for abchm.
school's coming to an end really soon. time flies and some things just never change, how sad man. hmm what gossip shld i include today huh?
pl loves a turtle? haaha. ok thts about it for now. i find that i like to use the word 'man' a lot. got influenced by somebody la.

would you take me on the regular?

2007-02-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

it's tough man.. it's there but i can't do anything, i can just stand there and look. If it's because of me i thinkk this break would be kinda good for both of us. But on the flipside i could be just thinking too much. But what are the odds man?

It's kinda a relieve there's no school today. I should really buck up. hopefully my day would be fruitful and not be wasted.
I can't help but think if she really really feels that, then i'm a goner man and i hate to end it like this. life seriously suxs some times and what's the way out?
they say there's a light at the end of every tunnel. for me this tunnel is super duper long man.
I hope someone with special powers can bring me out of this misery. pls do it. i'm waiting.
meanwhile i hope everything stays alright and nothing goes wrong.

just a little insight won't make this right

2007-02-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

today is valentine's day= very lonely time day.
hopefully whatever she says is not true. i really hope if there is anything that she wants to tell me, she'll tell me soon. I would rather she give it straight in my face.
i would try to come here and update everyday and get more of my peeps to read and i'll try to include daily gossips. haha.
and one of my frens, pl she seems like she's in love.
oh and i almost forgot, thanks alot hwee ying for helping me. one of the 'smartest' girl huh? haha.

you're the girl
that can make me shy
make my day
and make me cry.